DADDY'S GIRL

GOOD WORK GAY PEOPLE, you are, sadly, as moronic as... everyone else.

And a hale clap on the back to you Colonel Grethe Cammermeyer (dyke name.) No one can make fun of your outfits no more, Grethe, cauz like duh.

Cast your eyes upwards, Gentle Reader! Behold The Good Colonel beaming - and do you know why? PRIDE!

PRIDE! ‘bout tha media KA-CHING ‘bout 2 jizz o’er her very own, personal Colonic Amplitude! YOU GO, GIRL!

The Colonel’s also PROUD, no doubt, about her GRACIOUS BEHAVIOR when brokering fresh loads (haha) for the WARMEAT GRINDER!*

Fresh loads of hot, taut young’uns who - if not waylaid by RAINBOW JUSTICE - might have expanded to *The Global One* and risen to a greater good - LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.

But not tonight, Earthlings!

Coast-2-coast, men in chaps & chicks with beers are CELEBRATING! PROUD! that they can now BAAAAA openly, wit da White Sheep - nex 2 Massa! THEY NEED NEVER AGAIN HIDE the tenor of their porn or their secretion/ejaculation catalysts!

What a coup, Colonel!

Our Strict, Mean Dad of a System saw The Error Of It’s Ways, like in a fairy tale, thanks to Brave Soldiers Like You… and The System apologized *in deed* Colonel Cammermeyer! Dad is sorry!

Dreams do come true. Dad's changed. He *understands* now that you’re not a curse to God at ALLLLL! Noooooooo, Colonel. In fact you’re a fine girl.

Daddy’s Girl.

GAY RECRUITS MAY NOW OPENLY die young and refute logical thought SHOULDER 2 SHOULDER with men who ejaculate in the orfices of women, and women who do God knows what.

PROUD GAY PEOPLE will now pay more taxes with no recourse and raise uneducated, overstressed, unparented children (work=rent) JUST LIKE CONVENTIONAL EJACULATORS!

PROUD GAY PEOPLE can fall into debt JUST LIKE US! YIPPEE! Say bye-bye to Z-Gallerie, Gay People! Bye-bye Dinah Shore Open, bye microbrews, polo shirts, WWD, Doc Martens, Palm Beach, botox, theme cruises, waxing (men.)

PROUD GAY PEOPLE will now be more ‘relaxed,’ ‘feel good about themselves,’ more inclined 2 play nice with what they now view as THE ASCENDING AMERICAN SYSTEM.

As if!

Apres le deluge of PROUD GAY PEOPLE’s insufferable bleatings of VICTORY! WE WON! WOW! TIMES ARE-A-CHANGIN’! WHAT AN EXCITING TIME TO BE ALIVE! (cue Gloria Gaynor) like you just got your class another recess…

When you calm the fuck down, all victorious an shizz, won’t U just B max primed to give The System what it wants - More For Less?

YEA! DADT’S DEAD! BREAK OUT THE BULLTINIS!

If you think the ‘repeal’ of DADT is the shit, OY.

YOU, PROUD GAY PEOPLE, have become just another ho-tastic Special Interest Group - U know, like the NRA, the Jews/Hate Jews, The Democrats, The Taliban, The (guffaw) Art World.

But PROUD GAY PEOPLE YOUR Special Interest Group can’t help but Manifest a few sniggers, come on. It’s based on - YOUR PEE PEES! And where you want to rub them! TMI!

“What a piece of work is man… how noble in reason…”

The first one, well yeah… the second one, SAY WHAT? Where did WE get the idea we’re NOBLE IN REASON? I want examples. Give me a fucking break.

May I call for a moment of silence?

IF WE ARE ALL ONE WHY DO WE (that means U2 PROUD GAY PEOPLE)

DIVIDE »US« INTO TEAMS:

ANAL ORGASM ENTHUSIASTS vs. VAGINAL ORGASM ENTHUSIASTS (or whatev) and put »US« into opposition? That is pretty fucking lame, n’est ce pas?

And on a personal note, ugh.

I CALL UPON EVERY MAN JACK(off & Gash)

REGARDLESS OF WHERE OR HOW YOU RUB YOUR GENITALS OR

EVEN WANT TO, TO

>R E J E C T<

YOUR STUPID DIVISIVE ELITIST SPECIAL INTEREST LABELS

»>UNEQUIVOCALLY«<

> E S C H E W <

your stupid fucking ‘Gala Formal Evenings’ with those

>STUPID AWARDS<

DO IT.

EITHER WE ARE ALL ONE, OR WE'RE NOT

(Substitute ‘hot’ for ‘one’ if you can’t tell what I mean.)*

The Oppressed (including PROUD GAY PEOPLE) feel no obligation to embrace We Are All One, cauz they’re, you know, Oppressed.

I’ve had my share of FUCK YOU MIDDLE AGED HETERO JEW WHITEY fumets tossed at me fo shizzle, sometimes by PROUD GAY PEOPLE. When I wrote TV, it was awful. Hollywood’s as bad as the Vatican.

Lucky fo EVER*E*BODEE Whitey Hetero don’t talk. It’s Whitey Hetero’s CONSPIRACY OF SILENCE - like an interactive Steve Martin movie.

FLASHBACK

2 the legendary faabulous STUDIO ONE in West Hollywood, 1 HOT CLUB, the ‘Factory’ transformed, back in the Pharmaceutical Coke years (sigh.)

Many a night’s fantastic synergy was killed BAM when Gay Men had the nerve to betray their kind and bring FRIENDS WITH VAGINAS to Studio One. Bouncers did everything but kill us to keep us out.

Sneers, intimidation, pretending we’re invisible, abitrary ‘codes’ i.e. NO open-toe shoes, for example, NO boat-necks, capri pants, bra straps, bumps on rib cage - whatever it took.

But in The Olden Days -now this is quaint - when women in a group were barred from gay clubs, the whole group left together, and went somewhere else!

Penis bearing bipeds, vagina-bearing bipeds, bipeds with unidentifiable genital structure (AND all the foresaid further divided by piebald friction preferences) UNITED AS ONE.

PROUD GAY MEN did not grab the K and run in squealing, “Oh well. BYE!”

* * *

If some of us are not free, none of us are free.

But The Oppressed, just like Da Man, don’t believe that.

So

While I’m TOTALLY BUMMED OUT that I Am Not Free… at least I know The Fucktards ain’t either.

* * *

*(with assists by OG Big Joe ‘Papi’ Ratzinger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3Ajga1VLtk)


*yes, I do know there's Indigo too.