by Xanadu Xero
Who said APOCALYPSE 2012 would be a par-TAY?
Zat written somewhere alllll tight as a West Hollywood sphincter rejuvenation?
I posit It’s Already Here. Yes, APOCALYPSE NOW.
It came in on little cat’s feet, like the fog, but them haunches ain’t moving on. Do you feel me? I have evidence.
The Los Angeles Times on March 4, 2011, layout reminiscent of Arkansas classifieds - presented these FRONT PAGE HEADLINES:
KADAFI TOUTS GRASP ON KEY REGION, with the day’s big photo, Libyans Mourn ‘Martyrs.'
Well, as I live and breathe. That may or may not affect nous but either/or would be down the line, non? Nasty truffles right under our snouts are FUCKED UP NOW.
For instance - YOUR children can’t read. For instance - YOU work two jobs and have no money. It doesn’t bother YOU. If it did YOU wouldn’t buy, read and ceaselessly discuss these papers, would YOU? I do. How stupid is that?
Why was the Mel Brooks Dramedy Sequel on the Front Page? Might that not suggest that the Pulitzer Prize winning L.A. Times cross dresses as a geopolitical(ish) National Enquirer?
Is this not SIRENS ON SCARY? I’m really asking.
Since WE Modern Bipeds take orders so well, why would any institution SINCE THEY’RE ALL RELATED (as WE incessantly bray) rock the boat? They wouldn’t. Duh. Would you?
So. The Front Page gets more familiar from there, rounded out with TV plot headlines:
HOPE IS BACK ON BALLOT IN BELL - A new beginning after pandemic corruption in a small, L.A. County town???
TRIPPED UP BY ONE MISSTEP AFTER ANOTHER - Will the Urban Underdog City College fight The Man to get justice for the Iraq Contractor style construction of their rooftop sportsdeck???
CREDIT OR DEBIT, HUMAN? - “Robots and other machines are increasingly edging out people for jobs in the retail sector.”
This, friends, btw, is low key altruism: letting the monkeys know. This is what They do to Not Feel Bad about themselves. Them: “Not MY FAULT if Joe Customer’s too dumb to read it. It’s on the front page.” It is; unflashy, narrow, at the bottom, no photo.
BORDER EFFORT LET GUNS INTO CRIMINAL HANDS - WHAT ‘border’? Where? Jesus H! Define ‘criminal hands’ and ‘criminal’! Fuck! What is this saying?
Should a headline be a Rorscach Test?
Ends up, of course, it’s local, nothing near Front Page girth.
* * * * *
If you think They don’t want to brainwash you (“Xanadu’s wack!”) I submit to you this:
CANNED LAUGHTER. WE knew its blatant aims when it arrived, and soon WE counted on it. They still use it now because... it still works!
“The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
Photo by Xanadu Xero
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